Stages of Independence: A Mother’s Early Lesson in Letting Go
By Carla Sam – 4 October 2016
Watching our babies grow is one of the greatest joys of motherhood — and one of the hardest emotional challenges. For our Bonds of Love series, writer and eco-mama Carla shares her honest reflection on the moment she realised her little boy was already developing independence far sooner than she ever expected.
The Morning Everything Shifted
This morning, as I dropped off my almost one-year-old at daycare, something struck me. He didn’t cry. He didn’t cling. He simply waved, smiled, and happily let the carer take him over to play with the other children.
It hit me:
He’s becoming independent — and he’s doing it fast.
When our babies are born, they rely on us for everything: nourishment, safety, comfort, and every tiny scrap of learning. But within just one year — out of what we hope will be 80+ beautiful years of life — they already start stepping away from us, even if only by a few metres at daycare drop-off.
And honestly?
It feels too soon.
The Emotional Tug-of-War of Working Mums
It’s a strange, bittersweet conflict — being happy that he’s happy, yet missing him all day long.
Going to work gives me space to write and focus on my own business, and yes, I’m grateful for that. But knowing he’s perfectly content without me is both reassuring and a little heartbreaking.
When I was pregnant, I never imagined I’d be grappling with “letting go” when my baby was only one.
The First Big Lesson of Motherhood
The instinct to protect, hold close, and love fiercely is powerful. But the biggest lesson — maybe the hardest of all — is learning to let them grow confidently on their own.
Independence is a gift we give them.
And letting go, even in tiny steps, will probably be one of my greatest challenges — and one of my proudest achievements.
About the Author
Carla, 32, is a mama of one, a writer, wine lover, minimalist, and world traveller. She’s also a long-time Kindy Ecobaby customer.
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